I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize