I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize