i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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