after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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