I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize