I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize