Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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