i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize