he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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