I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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