anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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