Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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