I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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