I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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