alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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