Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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