We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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