I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize