I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It was confusing and full of hummus
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize