That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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