i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
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my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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