I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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