So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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