I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize