Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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