YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize