YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
there is glitter all over my balls
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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