Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
