tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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