That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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