Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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