I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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