Plan B is the new Plan A
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am spending my child support on dildos
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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