Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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