At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
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There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
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Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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