dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize