No stitches, just platelets and will power
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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