i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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