i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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