Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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