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So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
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