Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?

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  (858): So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis? http://tfl.nu/f1iy
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick

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  (478): i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick http://tfl.nu/86s0
  Replies (14) Good night (473) Bad night (2479) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.

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  (407): He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat. http://tfl.nu/lz98
  Replies (12) Good night (3534) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.

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  (617): found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked. http://tfl.nu/pme2
  Replies (34) Good night (11969) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.

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  (530): Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering. http://tfl.nu/vhlw
  Replies (7) Good night (3852) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..

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  (416): You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill.. http://tfl.nu/sqyp
  Replies (5) Good night (4098) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

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  (267): Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams. http://tfl.nu/lmv8
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.

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  (570): Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it. http://tfl.nu/ahvg
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?

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  (206): Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/2o7o
  Replies (8) Good night (1291) Bad night (413)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.

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  (505): She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max. http://tfl.nu/42dn
  Replies (11) Good night (1076) Bad night (1936) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny

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  (513): I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny http://tfl.nu/yacg
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.

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  (503): I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else. http://tfl.nu/cpkz
  Replies (11) Good night (3343) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE

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  (256): OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE http://tfl.nu/qfju
  Replies (6) Good night (2123) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.

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  (760): I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable. http://tfl.nu/xt8c
  Replies (1) Good night (892) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.

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  (775): Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers. http://tfl.nu/u3nj
  Replies (3) Good night (447) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt

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