Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
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He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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