why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
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Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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