I just saw a hot homeless man
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize