Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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