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  • 41 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 11:15pm
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    Billy Mays here for Cum-and-Gone; oh how i will miss those days.

  • 38 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 6:41pm
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    Blow naked - no worries

  • 40 38
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:17pm
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    Billy mays here with OXICLEAN! ring any bells?

  • 39 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 7:35pm
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    Squirt some Shout! on it before you throw it in the wash. Came right out of a brand new shirt I had that I wasn't able to wash for at least a couple days.

  • 33 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:06pm
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    omg jizz stains and period stainz!!!!11!! so gross lolz

  • 31 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:30pm
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    I see a marketing opportunity too: TROJANS! For when you're too damn lazy to dump it in the wash, use Trojans! *Pat Pending*

  • 27 24
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 11, 09 at 8:08am
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    Everclear. Shit will eat thru anything,

  • 26 22
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:00pm
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    Its probably on a wall...and 3:59 is right

  • 29 29
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:46pm
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    on clothing/bedclothes? just wash it. if it's in your hair, shampoo it out. i've never had any problem with either. and, yeah, if it's "on the go", tide to go is awesome.

  • 30 35
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:59pm
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    3:54 - where can i find you...this means you do quickies

  • 27 30
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 9:44am
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    Hasn't anyone seen the movie "Smokin Aces"? Nothing can get that shit out!!!!!!!

  • 29 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 2:01am
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    i have yet to find a stain i couldn't remove with baking soda.

  • 29 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 3:39pm
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    They are called cumclean wipes.

  • 26 31
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 18, 09 at 10:45pm
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    JUST USE DUCT TAPE!!!!

  • 31 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:19pm
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    631 554 7681 Call lisa

  • 25 30
    Submitted by XxLundqvistx30X on Jun 28, 10 at 12:38am
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    Skeet skeet skeet

  • 27 34
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:54pm
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    I carry a Tide-to-go pen in my purse strictly for jizz incidents.

  • 26 33
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 1:30am
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    billy mays here with Zombies!!!

  • 23 28
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:20pm
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    No, no, no. Use Mascul-out! Takes care of all sorts of "protein stains".

  • 25 35
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 1:38pm
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    8:07 we are kindred spirits because i've never had that issue either

  • 27 40
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 11:58pm
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    OXY=CLEAN IS GOD. the first time i had sex, it got everything out.

  • 23 32
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:03pm
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    it's called smith's cum cleaner. google it.

  • 29 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:26pm
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    Posting phone numbers is just not cool

  • 32 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 5:52pm
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    does this person not have a washing machine? Some of these texts are really stupid. I swear if it has anything to do with BJs, period blood, or sharting, it gets put up automitically..no matter how lame it is.

  • 33 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:52pm
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    3:49: Yeah, but Vince can't do that all day.

  • 25 37
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 9:14pm
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    8:07.... I'm in love ;)

  • 29 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:06pm
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    Lemon and Epson salt worked perfectly for getting the jizz out.

  • 29 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:22pm
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    no it doesnt, it shouldnt

  • 8 6
    Submitted by badmotherfuker86 on Mar 7, 12 at 1:36pm
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    And I'm ashamed that I live near people this retarded

  • 25 40
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 2:55am
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    shoulda swallowed when i said to

  • 27 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 1:02am
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    Shampoo works on "protein stains"

  • 26 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 12:59am
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    Ask Monica Lewinsky. Or is that before the rest of you were born?

  • 30 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 9:49am
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    Although if you want to make your own loofah......just continue to use the same towel or washcloth, and viola! Loofah !!!!!!!!

  • 21 33
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 1:56am
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    PINK SOLUTION!! It gets ANYTHING out of ANYWHERE!!

  • 28 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 1:04am
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    semen is water soluable,,,

  • 27 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 8:36pm
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    The dry-cleaners call it an "albumen stain". Well, some anyway.

  • 20 32
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:54pm
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    seeing as how it's mostly fructose and protein, anything you can get out food with should work.

  • 24 40
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:34pm
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    use bleach and amonia... should solve your problems.

  • 23 38
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:41pm
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    loofah and soap works every time!

  • 22 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:49pm
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    Vince Shlomi will sell the shit out of it...and then punch a hooker in the face!

  • 26 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:35pm
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    Another reason that you should swallow.

  • 23 39
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 5:37pm
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    just call it jizz-be-gone. it'll sell quickly. trust me.

  • 22 39
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 12:13am
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    use a shamwow… old schlomi used it to mop up that hooker's blood AND his jizz, and the carpet was perfectly clean

  • 28 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:01pm
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    ALCOHAL AND EPSON SLAT FIXES ALL

  • 23 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 7:04pm
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    comes out of my socks

  • 21 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:47pm
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    Aww damn too bad Bill mays is dead, he totally coulda pitched it and it woulda made millions Too soon?

  • 6 12
    Submitted by badmotherfuker86 on Mar 7, 12 at 1:35pm
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    Seriously just rub some water on it...or throw it in the wash, skeet doesn't stain

  • 17 34
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 11:54am
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    Yeah.. You THINK it's out.. until you get under the black light at the club! Guess what?! it's still there!! AWKWARD!!!

  • 25 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 8:07pm
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    I guess all the semen I encounter ends up in my tummy, vag, or a condom cause this has never been an issue.

  • 18 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:10pm
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    Jizz deconstitutes after about 12 hours, I think. Even if you don't have a washing machine, if you're lazy (and *really* weird) you should be able to put whatever it is in a bowl of water for a day and be fine.

  • 22 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:09pm
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    You stay classy, Prince William County.

  • 16 35
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:23pm
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    Jizz washes right out in the wash, It does not stain.

  • 23 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:47pm
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    cum stain away- cum stain away- cum stain away with wisk yeah (sung to some sail away of course)

  • 13 40
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 8:39am
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    It's a lot of fucking going on in Northern Virginia.

  • 20 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 12:37am
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    cheap windex. swear to god. that even gets it out of the seats and carpetting in the car.

  • 13 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:47pm
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    Excellent skit done on this very topic by The Man Show quite a few years ago

  • 14 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 12:43am
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    There's already a product called Kum Clean! For real hahaha