You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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