There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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