I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize