OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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