And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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